The Books Are On Fire

I’m just so comfortable, and uncertain.

Well, half of that statement was a lie. I really like working in a library, but there is a huge glass ceiling over my head [figuratively] and I’m just never quite sure when I’m going to smack into it or it will fall in on me.

Is it bad that I work for a higher education organization, yet question the value of furthering my studies at this point in my life? I would like to simply blame my indecision on the fact that no institution (that I have found) is really doing distance or adult education well right now. At best, the offerings are sub-par and that isn’t even filtering out things I am interested in based on discipline. My school of choice doesn’t even make much of an effort to be accessible to people unwilling or unable to put their lives on hold as the traditional graduate student is expected to.

It isn’t so much that I question the value even, but rather the cost-to-opportunity ratio. I have a lot of potential, just not very much here.

Part of my problem is letting my long term goals cloud my ability to achieve anything short term. I’m a little too young for that, or so I should think.

That is not to say this year has been without progress. I’m below a weight I thought I’d never reach and wearing sizes I didn’t think I would ever get back into. That much has been uplifting, even if it wasn’t really a goal I started out with.

And the fact that two co-workers that have become friends are now leaving for other opportunities is sinking in. Meanwhile, I have allowed myself to become further entrenched (or invested depending on how you look at it) in the organization. Maybe I’m afraid that I’m going to wake up and find there is nothing left holding me back, holding me here.

Maybe I’m just uncertain and not as comfortable as I’m making myself think. I want to believe in what libraries stand for, but right now I’m not sure I like everything under that icing.

I wonder if I’m allowed, just ever to be.

- Jónsi 

librarianista:

Self-Checkout at Milwaukee Public Library, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

We have these, and I LOVED THEM…

..then someone got the bright idea to move the barcodes for our books because they were in an “inefficient” place for the circulation staff.

Fair enough, they used to be on the inside cover. That required each book be opened. The new location won’t work with the self-checkout machines as they are currently setup, and it is physically impossible to configure them to work with both barcode placements.

To make matters worse this change was made in tandem with other changes that drastically increased traffic at the circulation desk.

The end result: long lines at the circulation desk and patrons can no longer self-checkout for newer books.

As you might imagine, I was quite thrilled as a heavy patron of the library where I work. I frequently check out recent computer science books :D

Just not with self-checkout any more mind you :[

Over enthusiasm - it gets me every time.

On the plus side, I’ve lost almost 25 pounds. On the negative side I am still not starting Library School, not even taking a class this Fall. I was totally going to sign up. I got on the wait list and everything, but money has been crazy tight.

My husband doesn’t work over the summer (special education teacher assistant) and we just kicked out a roommate, so as you might imagine finances are strained. It wouldn’t have been so bad, but he was out of work for over 9 months so my finances were already threadbare keeping us going. He hadn’t been working at his new job long before Summer started so he didn’t have time to really put any money away like we will this year. The roommate had to go. She was a disgusting pig.

It also isn’t good that I’m struggling with my authoritarian academia issues. I’ve learned so much in the past decade largely through work experiences and personal exploration. Working and taking classes are going to be hard enough, then there is the commute, all of the personal and social time I’ll sacrifice, not to mention the expense. And for what, the chance to move up a work hierarchy that I already despise?

I’m still interested in Library School, if I go the Masters route it is the way I’ll go. It isn’t even that I’m intimidated any more, just realistically put off. No one does distance courses well. The program I’m interested in doesn’t even really try to accommodate the adult learner (which is good and bad in different ways). It sets a high bar, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Oh, and I just paid off my Bachelors degree, like a week ago :P

So here is to 22 pounds and 3 to go.

Ok, so I love computers and all but I really wish you people (everyone else) would learn how to use them properly.

You people have absolutely piss poor choices in programming languages, hardware vendors, software applications, and interfaces. When are you going to learn that you made this hell yourself?

Don’t blame technology, YOU DID THIS.

This is me, just rubbing your face in it. Bad User.

Just a reminder, no point in being mediocre.

Also: Only work for free or full price, never cheap.